When you go to a party, do you find yourself standing in a corner or do you steal the spotlight? Do you crawl into your shell or do you talk to literally everyone? Do you feel like an outsider or do you feel like everyone’s just living in your world?
The behavior you have depends a lot on the setting you’re in and the people you’re with. If you’re with your closest friends or family, of course you are going to be more likely to engage in conversations, even start new ones on various subjects. When you find yourself going out with acquaintances or strangers, things might change.
You could close up inside and start over thinking about every situation. Maybe they are going to judge you, maybe you’re going to say the wrong things, perhaps they won’t like you. You’re scared they won’t get the way you are as a person. But, I guess there’s more to it than just that. It’s the environment you’ve grown in, the different experiences you’ve had and it’s also the fear of not fitting in.
From what I’ve learnt, you’re never going to be on the same page as everyone. And neither should you. I mean you don’t appreciate everyone’s company, why should they? I understand that sometimes it’s just so hard to open up to new people or even start casual conversations, maybe you’ve had a long day or you’re just not in the mood for it. I totally get it. No judgment from me.
I think I am an ambivert, I am both an introvert and an extrovert. It all depends on the state of mind I’m in. Sometimes I can be more reserved and yes, I’ll get into my head and overthink shit. I will not talk to anyone and I won’t feel weird about it because if that’s what my mind and body needs at that moment, then I am going to listen.
Other times, people wished I would shut the fuck up. I can talk for hours and hours, get into every single conversation and go so deep in it. Talk about traumas, religion, racism, feminism, men, inequality, past experiences, what I am planning to do next in my life and so on and so forth. These are the times I feel amazing with myself and with the people I’m with.
For those of you who still don’t acknowledge the fact that who you surround yourself with is vital for your mental health, then you haven’t learnt that lesson yet, but you will. I think everyone learns this the hard way. At least I did. In the past, I would’ve let people in my life even if they were energy vampires or emotional vampires. And it was extremely toxic for my well-being.
Now, I only have people in my life that match my energy, who are positive, ambitious and have a drive to strike for the best. These are the people you want to have around, the people who make you the best version of yourself.
Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert or ambivert, there’s nothing wrong with it. These are just labels that describe where you get your energy from and your perspective on the outside world. It helps you gain a deeper understanding of who you are, how you make decisions, what you need emotionally, and what type of self-care you desire.