One of the most painful kinds of breakup… friendship breakups. You envision that person by your side forever. You imagine you’re going to be friends until the moment you die. You’ve been through so much shit together. You have so many memories with that person. You’ve literally been through hell and back. And boom, they’re gone!
There are two types of friendship breakups – outgrowing your friend and losing contact with time or the ugly, out of nowhere stab in the back. Second one is by far the fucking worst! Did someone say major trust issues and fucking traumatized for life? Hihi, that’s exactly what this type of friendship breakup does to you. It breaks every inch of your heart.
When you meet someone, at that moment in your life, you can be extremely compatible with that person. But, as you start doing your own shit and evolving as an individual, that doesn’t mean they are going to stick by your side.
If they are ‘stuck’ in another phase of their life, such as the partying phase or the don’t do anything phase or the spending time with weird ass people phase, there will be a discrepancy in your friendship. And you’re not the only one that’s going to feel this, they will feel it as well. You’ll run out of things to talk about, you’ll not be interested in what they have to say anymore. Even when you go out with them, there’s going to be that awkward silence. These are signs you outgrew them and that both of you have chosen another path in life.
Even though you outgrow a person, you should be very sincere with them. At one point in your life, you saw them as ‘forever’. You need to communicate with them and let them know that you are not on the same page anymore. If they have a negative reaction to telling them you drifted apart, reassure them that it’s not necessarily a ‘them’ problem, it’s just that you see the world differently.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about outgrowing a friend. It’s something inevitable with some people. Plus, put yourself first! Don’t go out with people just because you have to or you feel some kind of obligation. It never turns out right!
The Ugly Stab in The Back
These types of friends will make you think that everything is perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect! That’s why it’s so fucking hurtful! If you’re extremely close with this friend, as I was with the people that stabbed me in the back, it never gets easier! Gaslighting is their forte, they won’t even own up to their shit and of course, who is there to blame? Hmmm, me.
It always catches you by surprise. You couldn’t have anticipated it because you guys were sooooo close. Maybe there were some red flags along the way, but you were completely blindsided. You would make up excuses for their behavior and didn’t even want to ever think about the possibility that this person could stab you in the fucking back. It’s always the people you consider the closest!
It’s a tough breakup, but it shows a lot about that person. And you finally realize, you never knew them. If a friend fucks you over that bad, get on with your life and NEVER look back at what it was. You’re going to have moments when you remember the good parts, but NEVER forget how easy it was for them to betray you.
People will come and go. Don’t lose yourself in the process! Stay strong and you’re going to get through it!