Why Can’t I Leave – Emotional and Verbal Abuse

This question used to pop in my head non-stop when I was ‘stuck’ in an emotional abusive relationship. Why can’t I leave? My rational mind, every inch of my body knew I had to get the fuck out. After years of being emotionally and verbally drained by this man, I finally had the courage to STOP this fucked up, abusive cycle.


Looking from the outside, people might have considered me an idiot, a fucking coward. I don’t blame them, thank god they haven’t been through this experience. However, if you’re not in it, you literally can’t understand. Sorry not sorry!


Signs of emotional abuse


You, as the victim, are aware that the behavior you are enduring is not normal. You literally feel it in your stomach that something is very wrong. The signs of emotional abuse can be very subtle in the beginning and when you finally realize, you’re in too deep… years of emotional and verbal abuse have just passed by. 


why can't I leave - emotional and verbal abuse


All the thousands of texts or calls while you’re out with your friends. Or even when you’re out with your family, basically whenever you’re not in his/her sight. Oh, you want to have a girl’s night, HA HA, you wish! Oh, you want to do any activity without me or just have some alone time, NOT FUCKING HAPPENING!


You lose your identity. After years of going through this shit, you’re going to be left feeling depressed, insecure and isolated. And for what? For someone who gaslighted you into thinking you loved him/her. For someone who has manipulated you so hard, you think you’re nobody without them. For someone who has cussed you down so many times, you even started believing everything he/she said.


why can't I leave - emotional and verbal abuse


Here are 5 ways for getting your life back from emotional and verbal abuse:


  1. Seek Professional Help: Consider reaching out to a professional therapist or counselor to help you cope with the emotional and verbal abuse you’ve been experiencing. Someone who is qualified can provide the resources you need to overcome the trauma.
  2. Set Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries with your abuser is essential to taking back control of your life. Make it clear what behaviors are unacceptable and communicate the consequences if they continue. Stick to your boundaries and don’t let the abuser manipulate or guilt you into giving in!
  3. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who can offer emotional support and encouragement. Reach out to them, so they can help you get through these tough times.
  4. Practice Self-Care: Make time for self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, reading, or any activity that brings you joy and peace. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health is essential to regaining control of your life and rebuilding your self-esteem.
  5. Plan for the Future: Create a plan for your future. Having a sense of direction and purpose can help you stay focused on moving forward and breaking free from the cycle of abuse. Set realistic goals, and take small steps each day towards achieving them. 


put yourself first


Remember, always put your happiness and your mental health first!


2 thoughts on “Why Can’t I Leave – Emotional and Verbal Abuse”

    1. The signs that you are in an emotional abusive relationship are: they are super judgmental towards you, they are possessive and controlling, they are manipulative, they invalidate your feelings a.k.a they gaslight you. And how can you get out? Well, you need to recognize the qualities of an actual healthy relationship. It may take some time, but you need to understand that abuse is a never ending cycle. Also, I wrote in my blog post about the 5 ways for getting your life back after emotional and verbal abuse, those are very valid if you’re trying to get out of a very toxic relationship.

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